It’s the new year and the mind would say… time to get back into the studio!
Yet there is no movement to do so, there is no interest to engage with canvas and paint, and it’s certainly too hot here (30 degrees most days in Byron Bay) to be in a container painting. Well that’s what the mind would have me believe.
You see I’ve learnt to let the mind’s thoughts on matters like ‘getting into the studio’ pass me by like clouds. I’ve learnt to sit and wait until the movement comes from the being or the body. It’s more like the experience of just finding myself in the studio painting and then realising… “oh I’m in the studio painting”. Somewhat like an out-of-body experience but it’s not. It’s just that the movement to create comes of it’s own accord, it’s own volition, and the ‘me-Melinda’ is just along for the ride. I love that.
It seems a bit uncomfortable at times, especially to someone who loves to plan her day, week, month, year, LIFE etc. Just ask my partner. His favourite saying when I start trying to plan is… “let’s just see how we feel.” It’s become a bit of a joke between us and I’m finding I’m learning to let go more and more in the moment. In fact I feel 2015 may just be the year of ‘NOT PLANNING’ or knowing what’s next for the ‘me-Melinda’. (God I hope that doesn’t sound like a plan!)
What a gift. The relief and resting this creates in my awareness feels fathomless. To realise I don’t have to know, to plan, to structure or to effort my artistic life is just so wonderful.
So in this moment I don’t know when I will step back into the studio, pick up the brush and pot to paint, create a little scribble on the beauty of a fresh new white canvas, play with colour until my heart squeals with delight, or test out some ideas that have been floating around for months in the back-end. It’s all a mystery and I’m just resting in awareness til the moment arrives.